Welcome here friends!
This blog is dedicated to someone there, my inspiration, my sun, my bias, my eternal love


Best regards, D.K. thx guyz

Cari Konten Blog Ini

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Hold myself

No.. I may not do it. I love you.. I love you... that's the feeling I have. I dont want to destroy u..

I must hold it in me. Let it explode in my heart. And let my soul cover it.

I love you.. I love you..

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, September 23, 2013

the answer

now the answer from my 7 years of being stuck in study has finally come. it's to meet you. 
you are the one i've been waiting.. i've been searching.

now that i found it, i will keep it safe in my heart. 

Sunday, September 22, 2013

Brother n lover

Which one u choose?

When u become a brother, you will never be able to kiss her or to be so close like a lover. But no matter what problem you both have, she will always come to you and your relationship will be back to normal. Just leave her. She will keep coming back to you. Bcoz she really needs you.

if you are a lover.. you can kiss n be so close. Even you know what others dont know about her. But.. once a problem come, anytime you have to be ready to be left or hated. Dont even hope that she will come to you... you are the one who must make a hard effort. Even just to come.

Me? Sometimes I feel so greedy to want them all. But Im reminded.. im here.. to love you. To give what I have to u. And to ask nothin. That's all.

posted from Bloggeroid

Tuesday, September 17, 2013


C.. I m missing u, c. We just met several times n had a very exciting n emotional meeting, but Now I begin to really2 missing you.

posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, September 13, 2013

Heart of Sword

c, this song is the ost of anime rurouni kenshin (samurai x). i really liked the song long time ago. and it brings back memory

c, im running out of words to tell how deep this feeling to you. and i hope thru this song, you will really know how it is.

Heart of Sword - T.M. Revolution

When I'm alone, tomorrow feels far away.
And I must go over still into the darkness of dawn.

If I try to play it straight, it will no doubt fail,
And tonight it won't go well between us again.

You can't see all of my hard efforts, because it's only result
Is that it makes no sense. It really is a "tightrope".

More effort, more damage--this is my daily life.
Taking a cynical attitude may give me some comfort...

Hiding myself, heated and irritated; living only a short time.

When I'm alone, tomorrow feels far away.
And I must go over still into the darkness of dawn.

If I let my emotions free,
My dreams will once again not go well.

I think the balance sheet of my life is imperfect.
If I add up the plusses and minuses, will it really equal zero?

I want to control all my luck
That may be used up before my life is ended.

You don't know--you can change logic at your will.

I hurt myself because of you, over and over;
But my love didn't go away--it kept coming back.

The toughness gained from my damage is unbelievable.
I won't be able to sleep at all tonight either.

However many times it's repeated,.
It revives again and again--because it's love.

You can't blame my emotion,
Because you should know it will never fade away.

When I'm alone, tomorrow feels far away.
And even though I'm in the darkness of dawn, I have to go.

I don't care about "bad affinity". Even if our love is not doing well,
Nevertheless we have deep ties.

==============================another translation===========================

Though alone, I think that I can make it...
...to the far off tomorrow before dawn.
My strong, jumbled feelings...
...will hit each other again tonight.

The scars left from all my hard work...
...leave me walking on a tightrope, even farther away from my goal.
It seems like I lose at everything I do these days.
It would just be easier to give up.

With all your might, hide the struggles you're going through. Life is so short.

Though alone, I think I can make it...
...to the far off tomorrow before dawn.
If I just put my strong feelings in charge,
Then I will have a chance at my dream again.

My revenues and expenditures of life are far from perfect.
I wonder if there's such a thing as hitting bottom?
I only have a certain amount of luck to last me รข€˜till I die.
So at least let me get in a try of my own.

Even you, who do not understand, only needs to change your way of thought.

No matter how many times you kick me away
I still love you
It's unbelievable how many hits I can take
But tonight, just as with last night, I can't sleep at all.

No matter how many times I repeat it over to myself
I come to the conclusion that I love you

Being ashamed of my inextinguishable, strong feelings...
...is what I've been doing wrong all along.

Though alone, I'm gonna make it...
...to the far off tomorrow before dawn.
My feelings for you are so deep...
...that it doesn't matter if destiny doesn't help me find you.


c, sometimes i do feel pain. but you know? i never regret. even im so happy. coz it's from you. and im with you.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Do u think I?

C.. are u ok there? Im so worried of you. I dont know how ur condition is. I dont know what u r doin. With this, do u think I can just stay?

I really want to come there. But you want me to b patient. And I will. Just wait for me. Kepp being spirited! Dont worry, everything's okay!

See ya soon, c!

posted from Bloggeroid

Save me once again - the rasmus

"Save Me Once Again"

Like a stone I'll go down
I'm too far to be found
Got no place for the storm
All the love that I found
Couldn't turn me around
Drift away all alone
Don't say this is the end
I think I'm lost again

Thank you for your patience
The time that you gave me
I think I never knew
You were trying to save me
Free me from the shadow
That lay on my shoulder
Please don't say it's over, it's over, it's over

I Confess I was weak
Got my heart full of greed
Wanted more than I need
I'm standing on the edge
Afraid of emptiness
Don't leave me
I'm begging you my friend

Thank you for your patience
The time that you gave me
I think I never knew
You were trying to save me
Free me from the shadow
That lay on my shoulder
Please don't say it's over, it's over, it's over

Don't say that it's the end
I think I'm lost again
I'm standing on the edge
Don't leave me
I'm begging you my friend
Save me once again

Would you save me once again
Would you save me once again
Would you save me once again

posted from Bloggeroid

The only one I am missing of

C.. I dont know wat to do anymore. I just keep missing you. N it grows deeper by the day.

This feeling is just too strong. I cant help myself. Your images is everywhere n in everytime.

You keep being silent. I dont even know wat u r up to. I m the one who should know everything you do but I dont. Wat kind of person I am.. am I really ur lover?

I m so so so so sooooooo in deep yearning of you...

You r simply the true love of mine. The one I want to accompany the rest of my life... the light in my darkness. The fire in my cold day. The oxigent in my suffocating life, the sugar in my bitter time, the only one.. the only one...

You r the only one...

posted from Bloggeroid

I cant

My body is here but mind is with you.

I miss you more than you ever thought.

And I cant live my whole life now.

In my heart, only you I want
Only you who can calm this silent scream

Do you feel the same? Or I am the only want living it..

I just cant stop it..
I cant...

posted from Bloggeroid

Aah.. selesai jg

C.. gw br slesai urus peace camp hr ini. Gw cm bntu2 paniria n setor muka doang.

Rindu bgt gw sm lu. Drtd cr2 wktu buat ksh kbr tp g ad. D lantai bawah ga ada sinyal. Ini d lantai atas ad sinyal. Hhe.

Gmn hr ini? Lncar smw ya smoga! :D
O ya, hr ini sm bsk gw pke bju dr mu. Td si clar blg bgus lho. Mksh ya. Gw kliatn mkin wah. Wkakak.

Gw mo tdr c. Tp msh mo ngbrol sm tmn dlu.

Smgt y c!!!

Gilak, gw sbnrnya rindu bgt c.. pngn sgra jumat. :'(

See ya soon ya! :')

posted from Bloggeroid

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

yang ku pikirkan

c, rindu kali aku c. gmn sama kau? udah hampir seminggu kita gini. aku ingin bisa seperti dulu lagi. tapi, walaupun tidak sedekat dulu, aku ingin tetap bisa bebas berjumpa dengan mu. makan bersama, jalan bersama, bkin rencana2 bersama, belajar kehidupan bersama, ketawa, nangis, marah, susah, dan senang bersama.

aku sering kawatir padamu. aku takut sesuatu terjadi padamu. aku ingin bisa menjagamu c.

c, apakah aku memang orang yang paling ga bisa ngerti kau? apa aku orang paling tertutup dengan kau? apa aku orang paling tidak setia pada kau? apa aku orang yang paling suka berbohong pada kau c dibanding orang2 yang kau kenal? aku minta maaf jika demikian c. tp, aku selalu berusaha c utk kau. aku ingin bisa meluangkan segalaku untukmu. kadang pun aku berpikir, apa kah semua yang ku lakukan ini masih kurang bagimu?

tp aku bisa mengerti c. sangat sulit utk mendeskripsikan tentangmu. tapi saat kau dekatku, semua tentang dirimu dapat kurasakan. bagaimana kau bersedih dan menahan perasaanmu c. aku ingin jadi orang yang mengerti dirimu c. lebih dari orang lain. walaupun kadang aku gagal.

c... aku tidak tau apa yg kau pikirkan tentangku sebenarnya. namun aku selalu percaya c. kau sayang padaku. aku tau siapa kau c. kau anak yang sangat pintar dan baik. namun kadang orang lain tak bisa melihatnya dan hanya melihat semua yang kau lakukan sebagai hal negatif.

c... makasih ya c...

hari jumat aku ingin bertemu c... tolong temuilah aku.. sebagai apapun yang kau mau... aku ingin meminta beberapa pertolongan kecil padamu. :)

c, semangat untuk hari2mu! GBU!


C.. aku tau skrg. Kau pst ingn aku lbh brsabar. Ya, aku akn mnunggu c. Maaf klo aku krg sbr d saat2 spt ini.

Tp bsk jumat, aku akn ksna c. Aku ingin mnt tlg. Hehe.

C, smg kau ttp smgt ya! Ada daddy yg slalu mnemani kau, aku sdkt tnang. Kau tdk akn kspian. Aku prcaya sm mu c. Sm spt kau yg g prnh lelah pdku.

Jk kau btuh sesuatu, hub lah aku. Akn kuusahakn semax mgkn utk mmbantu. :)

Smgt utk hr ini c. Gbu! Syg gw c sm lu.

posted from Bloggeroid

Dan byrd - boulevard

I don't know why, You said goodbye
Just let me know you didn't go forever
my love
Please tell me why, You make me cry
I beg you please on my knees if that's
what you want me to

Never knew that it would go so far
When you left me on that boulevard
Come again you would release my pain
And we could be lovers again

Just one more chance, Another dance
And let me feel it isn't real that I've
been losing you
This sun will rise, Within your eyes
Come back to me and we will be happy

Never knew that it would go so far
When you left me on that boulevard
Come again you would release my pain
And we could be lovers again

Maybe today, I'll make you stay
A little while just for a smile and love
For I will show, A place I know
In Tokyo where we could be happy

Never knew that it would go so far
When you left me on that boulevard
Come again you would release my pain
And we could be lovers again

Never knew that it would go so far
When you left me on that boulevard
Come again you would release my pain
And we could be lovers again

posted from Bloggeroid

Pagi merindu

Tiap pagi, aku terbangunkan oleh teriakan rindu di hatiku.
Mulutku membisu, namun seluruh tubuhku bergetar.
Mataku terpejam, bagai mata air, rinduku terpancar, mengalir dengan sendirinya dan membasahi tempat peraduanku.
Angin dingin mulai mengusik hatiku yg kosong, sangat kencang dan menekan tiap sudut di relung hatiku.
Pikiran pun mendobrak pintu pertahananku.
Berlari keluar, mencari di setiap sudut tempat dan jalanan memori,
Bagian jiwa yg terhilang.

Hanya sepi yg menemani...

posted from Bloggeroid

Tuesday, September 10, 2013


When I know you keep contacting your special one all day long
When I hear about how you dont want to be me
When I see all that rude things you ever did to me

One thing I think os that you dont love me..

But everytime I see your face on my galerry
Everytime I count good things you did to me
Everytime I realize that I ever made mistake too
Everytime you I try to look at your past and present condition,

That tought gone.. and what I know is that you really love me..

And those words you sent to me thru text messages, and the words you told me those nights we roaming the city, give me the faith to carry on this love..

Love cant be measured by what we are doing.. only heart can really know and feel it.

I thank God that you are my love.

posted from Bloggeroid

Maaf yg td..

C.. maaf gara2 sok care td aku mlh nyusahin. Unexpected bgt. Dan malu sdr gw krn sptnya g ptg bgt td. :(
Tp.. mksh bgt lu mau susah brg sm gw. :')

Maaf ya c msh susah utk mlepasmu. Kau tau kan akn sgt berat bagiku jk endingnya krn hal ini dan bkn krn Dia. Aplg, ini bda sm kisahku sblmnya. Dlu aku slalu ingn mlupkn mrk dan mncoba cr pnggnti. Tp skrg sbaliknya.

Tp aku jg sdr bhw dg akir spt ini, akn mdh bagimu utk mningglknku. Trlbh ad org2 spesial lain d hdupmu.

Enth kpn aku bs mlepasmu. Aku msh ingin mnjaga dan mnemani mu. Saat2 dmn aku bs mlakukan itu adl saat2 yg sgt indah. Trlbh lg saat kita mlalui hal2 sulit brsama. Bagiku itu adl saat yg terindah.

Hnya sm lu gw bs sebahagia dan sedesperate ini. Hhe.

Mksh c.. slmt mlm. Slmt tdr.

O ya, bsk aku ud mulai peace camp jm12.

Smgt ya c! Jgn pnh lp brdoa. Dan gw hrp lu msh ttp cg n ktb. :)

posted from Bloggeroid

Asmara - novia kolopaking

Kukemas air mata di pipi
Tak percaya 'ku yang t'lah terjadi
Cintamu kini telah pergi
Haruskah cinta aku akhiri
Hanya sampai di sini

Tak mungkin....
Aku berpaling dan menyudahi
Tercabik hati ingin meronta
Jangan kau rejam gairah yang ada
Haruskah aku mengemis cinta
Untuk menghilangkan duka

Kemana lagi akan kucari
Siapa yang 'kan mengusir sepi
Disaat 'ku sendiri

Mungkinkah kau sampaikan padanya
Walau hatiku penuh derita
Aku masih s'lalu cinta

posted from Bloggeroid


We are a mess n weird.. but we srand together firmly, facing the world...

Our love cannot be terminated by anything.. even death.

And the meaning of these all is.. that you love.. and I love you...

We are holding hand each other.. running thru the falling sky..


posted from Bloggeroid


I cant let tou go! I just realized that I cant let you go with this ending...

Im so sory..

C.. just run away from me! Before it's too late. Im crazy, c! Im crazy! Run away as fast and far as posible!

Look c! How crazy I am! A healthy person will never do something so freak like me.

I keep writting here..
I keep following you
I keep persuading you..
To be trapped with me..

I am crazy... insane... sick...
Nothing you can expect from me anymore...

Im broken, c.. even from the first time...
C.. run...

posted from Bloggeroid


Maukah kau mkan dg ku mlm ini? Maukah kau temaniku?
Aku mohon dg sgnap hati dan jiwaku...


posted from Bloggeroid

Let me..

Let me take all the sorrow n pain.. let me take all the punishments. Set her free, God.. dont let her fall again. It's all bcoz of me. If this happened, I m the one to blame. Keep her safe. Comfort her. Warm her. Take her back to Your way. Like before she knew me...

Since I cant do it myself. Until forever this feeling will never change. I have found the one i 've been waiting. And allow me to keep this feeling with me.

Do anything to me, God. But just dont take this feeling... I beg.. I pray..

posted from Bloggeroid

Cinta atau..

C.. apa pndptmu ttgku? Tidakkah aku bagai org bingung yg tak pny pndirian? D satu sisi, aku ingn agr bs merelakanmu prgi. Tp d sisi lain, aku mnginginknmu d smpgku.

tbuhku bagai ditarik oleh kekuatan yg besar dr 2 sisi. dan aku tdk bs brbuat ap2. hnya bs mmndg dg tatapan yg kosong.

C.. lg dan lg aku hny dpt mnta maaf krn prasan yg kumiliki ini pdmu. Perasaan yg blm prnh bgtu dlm spt ini. Bhkn aku tak tau dmn dasar dr prasaan ini.

Entah apa ini cinta, atau keegoisanku..

posted from Bloggeroid

i wish you were here

you know how it feels when you need someone you love... and this time, i wanna sing this song like you used to do

Damn, damn, damn
What I'd do to have you here, here, here
I wish you were here
Damn, damn, damn
What I'd do to have you near, near, near
I wish you were here

No, I don't wanna let go, I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go, let go, oh, oh
No, I don't wanna let go, I just wanna let you know
That I never wanna let go, let go, let go, let go
Let go, let go, let go, let go, let go, let go
Let go, let go, let go

Read more: Avril Lavigne - Wish You Were Here Lyrics | MetroLyrics 


c... aah... makin kesini kenapa gw makin syg aja sama lu? gw makin sadar kalo lu ini memang sayang bgt sm gw. apalagi stiap gw ingat expresi wajah lu saat sedih dan senang. terlihat sekali kalo lu syg bgt sm gw.

bahkan kau mau memaafkan 1 kesalahanku terbesarku padamu dlu. dan kau hanya menuntut keterbukaan yang total dariku. aku mulai bisa makin mengerti. tapi apa kau tau? kau adalah orang yang paling mengenal diriku saat ini. melebihi siapapun. orang tua, sahabat, teman, saudara, bahkan orang2 di masa lampau ku.

terlalu banyak pengalaman yg kita lewatkan bersama selama hampir 8 bulan ini. hanya dalam 8 bulan, semua pernah kita lewati. dan aku merasa sangat beruntung karena bisa melewatinya dengan mu. duka pun tak akan membuatku menyesal.

c... kapan bs spt dlu lg ya? melewati hari bersama. skrg kau lbh sering sdr. makan sdr, jalan sdr. smg kau tetap smgt ya c. jgn lp, kalau kau butuh apa2, bs lgs hub gw. walopun blm tentu aku bs menyediakan semuanya T.T
tp aku akan berusaha semax mungkin membantumu. itu pasti. :)

kau bs menganggapku sebagai apa saja. mungkin bukan sbg org yg kau sayang. teman mungkin. saudara. ato apa aja. rival jg mungkin. -___- walopun jelas aku kalah telak kalo harus ber rivalry sama kau. wkakak.

aaaaah... c... mengingat kau begitu sayang padaku, kerinduanku yg sangat dlm bs sedikit terobati. c, baik2 disana ya. jgn nakal. smgt. GBU!

btw, tebak skrg gw dimana??? hahaha!

Missing you so bad this morning

I dreamt about u tonight. In my dream, u responded my plsts here. And I could see you.

Sometimes it's so happy if I lived in dream. I could reset all things.

Are you missing me? You told me before that you missed me when I dreamt about you.

Im missing you like crazy here. I want to see you now. Now...

posted from Bloggeroid

Still feel

C.. I dont know why I feel that you still love me like it used to be...

I know you're hidding your pain n sorrow in your silence.. c.. I really want to accompany you. I just feel so dumb and useless knowing that you other people who console you.

C.. sleep tight. Gbu!

posted from Bloggeroid

Monday, September 9, 2013

Not sincere

You are okay there..I dont to be sad..

But why im still in sorrow? Maybe im just not sincere to you. Maybe im still wanting you...

In case of that, I can only say sorry.. and try to realize that you are not mine..

posted from Bloggeroid

Fourth reason

Now I know that he has the same feeling with you.. what can I say..?

You even dont get tired of chatting with him. U usually sleep at this time. But with him, tou can stay longer..

He's just way better than me in everythin..

Now that I really know that he does have liking towards tou.. yes he does.. and you also like him much, I must realize that I must let you go..

This is the fourth reason..

posted from Bloggeroid

Third reason

In your lonely time, you have a daddy with whom you can get in touch n share a lot of things.

When you have nothing to do, you have a brother who always waits to accompany you to do everything together.

And when you need someone to help you, your previous man will be there for you.

My third reason to realize how you r so fine without me. To realize how I must let you go.

posted from Bloggeroid

you came to give this marionette life

i was an abandoned marionette
sitting at the corner of the dark room
unable to do single thing

then 10 months ago, you came to my life for the very first time...
that time, i felt like there was a breathe came inside me

you took my strings, and began to play with me
i felt like i was not useless anymore
i could stand
i could move
i could do everything

and that's bcoz you were behind me
helping me to go thru all my handicaps
though you controled all of myself
i was just so happy...

you made me live again
you warmed me, and released me from being frozen
you simply gave this marionette life

but now, you see the hole in me
you see that i am too old and getting brittle
there are so much part broken in me
even some of my strings are unattaced and broken off
i am unrapairable

you know, despite im well covered, all inside of me is broken
you begin to leave me
throw me away
as im useless
and broken

im just a broken wooden toys now
ready to be burned

but as im burned, i wish... i hope...
that my fire can warm you now...
so that i can pay all my debt to you

life for life

di depan fakultasmu

c, tadi baru aja lewat depan fakultasmu. aku teringat saat awal kita bertemu berdua saja di luar. saat itu kau menungguku di sana. dan akirnya kita bertemu. kita saling tersenyum malu. semua terasa kikuk saat itu. kita lalu membeli makanan di sebuat mini market. saat itu pun, hanya sedikit kata yang kita ucapkan. hanya tatapan dan senyuman. 

:) lucu sekali jika mengingat bagaimana kita sekarang. 

tapi, saat-saat itu, tak akan pernah aku lupakan. disana, aku melihat dirimu yang sebenarnya. dirimu yang tak dapat dilihat oleh orang lain yang tak mau mengertimu. 

c... smangat utk hari ini! 


who am i to you?
am i someone you care about and love?
or am i someone to make you happy and to satisfy all you need?

but for me..
it doesn't matter how you will take me as
i just want to love you
that's all

sometimes, i wonder why..
why i really2 need you
why i love you so much

just why..?

even up til now, i still dont have reasons why

Miss you

God.. im so sorry that I miss her so much this morning. I just feel like im going numb. Freezed and stoned.

Everythin I see is her.

U still really2 want her

God.. does she feel the same? If she does, please wipe away it. Take her pain n sorrow. Put a smile on her lips.

If this means I have to be like this forever, im willing to feel it. But I just cant stop wanting her.. that's the only things that will never change.

This love is way too deep. I cant even feel the bottom..

I wonder how much tears left in my eyes to satisfy my yearnings...

posted from Bloggeroid

Breatheless day by malena erman

The summer sun bleeds into the sea
We watch the tide leave at our feet

But let´s remember
The sunburned lovers
Who found each other
When we were lost
I´ll have the mem-ries
To hold inside of me
After these breathless days are gone

Inspite of promises we´ll make
The waves will wash our names away
But we will hold on to the day
Pretending it will last forever

I will remember
The sunburned lovers
Who found each other
When we were lost
I´ll have the mem-ries
To hold inside of me

After these breathless days are gone
I know the mem-ries
Will never leave me
Part of my heart where you belong

posted from Bloggeroid

Have I gone crazy?

Where are you? I really need you..
I dont know why I cant be alone now. I was so strong before.. but now im so weak.

What have u done to me so that I really want and need you?
What you have said that cause me to call ur name every secs?

It's ok when you insult me
It's ok when you are so rude to me
It's ok when you blame me
Why is it so painful when you're not here?

Have I gone crazy?

posted from Bloggeroid

Sunday, September 8, 2013

Trlalu bnyak..

Kenangan2 dan barang2 yg kau tinggalkan dg ku seharusnya membuatku mkin kuat dg ksndrian tanpamu. Tp rinduku makin mjd stiap kenangan2 itu dtg. Terlslu banyak kenangan2 brsamsmu. Semua hal prnh kita lakukan bersama. Suka dan duka, marah dan akur, semua perasaan dan emosi kita rasakan brsama..

Aku rindu skali c.. aku tak boleh sperti ini.. tp prasaan ini mncul tnpa ku undg.. rindu ini trlalu mndesak jiwaku. Aku seakan tak brdaya.

Ajari aku utk mjadi kuat sptmu.. kau bs hdp tnpaku.. namun ntah knp aku sngguh tak bs. Mngkn aku hnya kurang tulus saja.

C.. c.. c.. teriakanku dlm hati.. apa kau bs mndgrnya..?

Aku tak tau lg bgm aku mnghubungimu.. mngkn kau bnci skali pdku skrg.. brbeda dg kisahmu yg lalu.. dmn kau sgt khilangnnya..

Tp dibalik smw yg kau lkukan, aku msh bs mrasakan rasa sygmu pdku.. kau pnts mmbenciku.. dan tak layak aku utk kau syg..

C.. aku gbs bnyk menberimu kebahagaan. Maafkn aku. Aku hny bs mnemanimu.. ada utkmu... brusaha utk slalu mngrtimu.. dan hnya mncintaimu. aku tau tak ckup smw itu utk mu. Tak ada barang brharga satu pun..

C.. smgt ya! THx utk hr ini. Thx utk ksh sygmu pdku.. :')

Slmt tdr c.. Gbu! Tdr yg nyenyak.

posted from Bloggeroid

Bdmnton lg.

C.. aah.. hbs main bdmnton. Enth tiap main dsni slalu aj jleeeeek bgt. Mnang sih. Tp lwnnya satu lvel d bwh. Mn pas main hmpr sm kek lcw. Mo kram kaki.

Ud mkn mlm blm? Aku blm. Haus bgt skrg cm bw 2 gelas aqua. Mls mo mkn lg. Ah.. seandainya kau dsni.. hhe.

Snangnya td bs liat lu lg ketawa lpas bgt. Smg hari2 mu slalu gt ya. Snang bgt aku klo tau kamu gt. Aah. Tp ttp aj aku rinduuuu bgt. :( maaf ya.

Krn lu smgt, gw jg hrs smgt. :)

Mlm ini jgn lp lgs istrht. Bsk jdwl mu pdt bgtkan? Smg jumat bs ktmu ya. Hhe. Aaah
:'( ada peace camp...

Sbt mgu hrs ktmu tp. Hrs!!! Hha. Pngn liat lu. Smg mgu dpn kamu makin ceria ya.

Mau plg aku. Haus bgt. Plg dl yaa.

posted from Bloggeroid


You are happy. You can laugh. Even without me...

My second thing to make me realize that your not mine.


Im sorry im still so missing you..

posted from Bloggeroid

Set and rise

The color faded as the sun set. Replaced by darkness n cold.

Memories linger and foot steps search.
The soul is stumbled n fall down.

Faith rises it up

the dawn then comes
Bathes the soul with its red light n heal all its wounds

The sun rises..

posted from Bloggeroid

Your smile.. your laughter.. they really consoles me. Nothing better than that.. thank you. Keep being spirited!

posted from Bloggeroid

Loser n winner

It's wat I have thought from the frst.. I will only make you lose one day..

You are the winner. I am a loser..

First thought to let you go..
Realize it xue..

posted from Bloggeroid

Notes n words - one ok rock

I wanna dance like no one's watching me
I wanna love like it's the only thing I know
I wanna laugh from the bottom of my heart
I wanna sing like every single note and word
it's all for you
Is this enough?
I wanna tell you and this is the only way I
And hope one day you'll learn the words and
That you finally see, what I see

Another song for you about your love
'cause you love the me that's full of faults
I wish you could see it from this view
'cause everything around you is a little bit
brighter from your love

I wanna dance the nights away with you
I wanna love because you taught me to
I wanna laugh all your tears away
I wanna sing 'cause every single note and
word it's just for you
Hope it's enough?
I wanna tell you and this is the only way I
And hope one day you'll learn the words and
That you finally see, how I feel

Another song for you about your love
'cause you love the me that's full of faults
I wish you could see it from this view
'cause everything around you is a little bit
brighter from you love

Not a day goes by that I don't think
About you and the love you've given me
I wish you could see it from this view
'cause everything around you is a little bit
brighter from your love
Life is just so much better from your love.

posted from Bloggeroid

One day

One day if your feeling to me gone, I want to come to you. Come as someone else. I can be anything, from friend to servant. Bcoz I want to be close to you. Ensure that you are okay...

posted from Bloggeroid

Saturday, September 7, 2013


Why is it so hard to be sincere to love you. Im still thinkin of you n want you. And im so sad..

Forgive me for having this feeling to you..

A song before I sleep.. a song sthat describes my selfish feeling of wanting you..


If only you could see the tears in the world
you left behind
If only you could heal my heart just one more

Even when I close my eyes
There's an image of your face
And once again I come to REALIZE
You're a loss I can't replace

It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me

In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me

Walking down the streets of Nothingville
Where our love was young and free
Can't believe just what an empty place
It has come to be

I would give my life away
If it could only be the same
Cause I conceal the voice inside of me
That is calling out your name

It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me

In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me


Time will never change the things you've told
After all we're meant to be
love will bring us
back to you and me
If only you could see

It's a keeping for the lonely
Since the day that you were gone
Why did you leave me

In my heart you were the only
And your memory lives on
Why did you leave me

posted from Bloggeroid

c... maaf kan aku...

malam minggu seperti ini, biasanya kita melewatkannya bersama. makan malam, bercerita dan mengarungi jalanan malam sambil kau memelukku. kenangan itu mana mungkin bs aku lupakan.

saat ini, aku hanya bisa bercerita disini. berharap kau tau bahwa aku sangat merindukanmu. namun aku tau, bahwa tak layak lagi untukku bercerita semua ini. ya, aku sangat egois. aku sangat menginginkanmu dalam hidupku. padahal ku tau kau bukan milikku. dan aku hanya selalu menyakitimu, dan cinta sejatimu disana.

aku tau, kata maaf, air mata, dan apapun juga tak akan bs membuatmu kembali. tapi ijinkanlah aku untuk tetap dapat melihatmu dan menyayangimu. seperti janjiku dlu.. aku ingin mencintaimu sampai akir hidupku kelak. aku ingin setia padamu. entah apa yang akan terjadi kelak. aku akan berusaha.

c, jangan lagi kau sedih. aku selalu menyayangimu. aku tau ada hal tak pantas yg ku lakukan. namun di hatiku, hanhya terukir namamu.

aku malu pada diriku... kau sangat kuat. kau juga berpendirian teguh, tak tergoyahkan oleh apapun, termasuk kata2 dariku, air mataku, dan apapun juga. berbeda denganku. aku sungguh lemah di depanmu. dan aku lah yang lebih sering merengek padamu untuk kembali...

c, terimakasih selama ini kau sangat menyayangiku. banyak hal yang kau lakukan untukku. akan kusimpan pemberian2mu. semua itu akan menjadi kekuatanku, untuk aku melangkah ke depan. dengan itu, aku merasa bahwa kau berada dekatku. menemaniku kemanapun ku pergi.

c, aku memang ga layak untukmu. kembalilah pada cinta sejatimu. ia pasti sangat merindukan mu. ia pasti sangat memikirkanmu. aku sungguh bersalah padanya. bahkan semua kebahagiaanku pun mungkin tidak akan cukup untuk meminta maaf.

c, aku lemah c... aku terlalu menginginkanmu... maafkan aku jika hingga kapanpun, aku masih tetap seperti ini...

c, jgn sedih ya c.... banyak alasan untukmu bahagia..
dari awal, kita sepakat untuk belajar bersama. entah apa yg telah kau pelajari. namun semoga itu membuat mu menjadi lebih baik dan lebih dewasa dalam menjalani hidup.
sama sepertiku yg banyak belajar tentang menjadi setia, jujur, dan mencintaimu dengan tulus.

c... thank you very much... that you made my life so alive.

semangat c! :'D

Kusimpan semuanya

Saat2 pertama melihatmu, msh sgt kental terekam dlm ingatanku...

Hingga beberapa bln stlhnya, kita slg mbgenal. Dan memulai smua ini..

Dan akirnya, kau ingin aku pergi..

Semua kan selalu trsimpan dg rapat dlm pkiranku.. dan kurasakan dlm hatiku.. setiap hal, baik suka dan duka yg prnh kita lalui.


C.. thx for all those things. Everything you did to me, no matter what, has made me live for real. That now, I need no other thing nomore.

Thx.. you left me with all those beautiful memories..

Thx for loving me.. I love you too..

posted from Bloggeroid

I can love you

Though I cant see you
Though I cant have you
I can feel you
I can love you

Does everythin have a meaning?
For all of those days i've been trying
And here I keep on waiting
Of something that will unever come...

posted from Bloggeroid


Sperti cahaya kau mnerangi hdpku yg gelap.
Sprti air kau mnyegarkan jiwaku yg gersang.
Terimakasih untuk cintamu padaku..

posted from Bloggeroid

Dr hatiku

Apa kabarnya ya..? Blm ada 1 hari tp aku ud kwtr. Aku tau ada sseorg ug dkt dgnnya. Tp apakah ia bs bnr2 bahagia?

Smg ia baik2 saja.. slalu ceria dan tak kurang satu apapun.
Smg ia jg bahagia dan jd org yg lbh baik lg.
Smg tdk ada lg air mata
Smg ia tdk susah lg..
Dab hdup dg lbh tenang.

Jagalah dia, Tuhan. Tuntunlah dy. Peluk dia saat dingin dtg. Dan angkt smua beban d hdupnya.

Dan biarlah ia kembali pd cinta sejatinya. Cinta yg mnunggunya jauh dsna...

Hapuskanlah aku dr dlm hati dan pkiranya agar ia tak lg mnderita krn ku yg tak layak ini.

Dan utku.. jagalah prasaan ini tetap d hatiku. Ckp d hati ku saja.

Dan prmohonanku yg trakir, mampukanku utk mnjga prasaan ini, hingga khdupan slnjutnya. Dan biarkn kami brtemu dan slg mncintai lg.. dlm kondsi yg Kau kehendaki..

Trmksh Tuhan.. kau sungguh baik..


posted from Bloggeroid


Not to leave you despite ur childishness

To be loyal to you

To only love you

Not to be angry for you

Not to contact persons in my past

Not to repeat my mistakes

Those all things I promised to you

And that you love me

That's the only thing I keep in my mind.. as you ever told me..

posted from Bloggeroid

What I can only do

Why..? Why I can't hate you? Why I dont blame you? I want sometimes. Even i have the rights to do that. But everytime im about to do that, I remember your face. How u really care for me. How u cry for me. And what I can only do is loving you..

posted from Bloggeroid

Friday, September 6, 2013

C. Smgt!

C.. smgt y c. :)

Smw akn baik2 aj. Jgn lp doakan kita brdua.

C.. susah kali aku utk g mkirin kau..
Maaf y C..

posted from Bloggeroid


Ngntuk C aku. Bnget. Mataku ud g kuat. Lu tdr jg ya. :') smg kita ktmu dlm mmpi ya.. rinduu. :(

posted from Bloggeroid

Let us

Gudnite. Let's meet in dream. :')

posted from Bloggeroid

jangan lupa makan

C, jgn lp makan ya. jgn sampe perutnya mual lagi. dan jgn sampai ga makan lagi kek kemarin. sedih bgt liatnya.. sama jgn makan bnyk sambal ya. baik2 disana. 

xue, dont worry...

im sorry that i always trouble you. even it always takes me long time to leave your place. i act like a sick man. crying here and there. begging for mercy. rolling on the floor like a child.
i just want to make sure that you'd be okay after i leave. i just want to know that you won't be sad without me before i leave your room... i want to see no tears in your eyes when im not there anymore...

i always worry of you. i feel like you'll be sad if im not around. i feel like you feel so lonely if you can't see me...

i think that with me, you will always be happy.

but turn out maybe that's just wrong now... maybe you're really okay without me.. maybe you're happier without me...

C, im trying not to come to you anymore... as you said and as i promised... i'll make effort of it. at least i know that there is one man, though he's so far from here, he always looks after you. even better than me. he never makes you cry. he never dissapoints you. he never put you in trouble. even he warms you. he comforts you. helps you to be someone better...

xue, dont worry.. she's okay now. a good man is looking after her with care and love. he can make her okay and comfort. what else you should worry now? dont be a trouble for her anymore... dont be it... stop making her sad...

dont worry, xue... someone is keeping her with so much care...

love alone

she's just too good for you...
you just dont deserve her...

so xue, pls stop chasing..
you're only trouble...

nothing else you can give but trouble... 

xue.. her life with you will only be hell... 
no happiness
no meaning
no future

realize that.. stop wanting her..
she's not yours
and never in this life...
just let her go..

love her alone.. 
love her alone..
if you really want to really love her, xue...


entah kenapa saat ini aku merasa tidak enak. seperti sangat kawatir dan tidak tenang. apa kau baik2 aja disana? baru beberapa jam padahal dan tadi pagi aku bisa merasa tenang.

kalau ada apa2, hubungi aku ya. kalo memang kau ga mau, jangan ragu2 hubungi orang2 terdekat mu. jgn sampai terjadi apa2.


semoga kau baik2 saja... 

smile ^_^

hey you. smile! :)

it's okay! nothing chance but how we meet. only that changes. others don't.

so, just be happy. be spirited!

if you feel so worry.. feel so lonely.. just close your eyes and think about me. and say a prayer.

but more than that, you can think about your real love. who's waiting there loyally. with all of the faith in you.

and don't worry of me. i am okay. since i know, you have someone way better than me. someone who can guide you to the light.


damn... why this song again. you know, suddenly "you were trouble when you walked in" played.. -__-

and i remember you again. and those times. lol. forget that.


smile! okay? ^_^ yeaaah!

real relationship with you

cannot be together doesn't mean that we dont love each other...

but one day, you have to stop loving me.. and going back to your real love...
maybe this is what i have to understand. you are not mine. and im not created for you.

that's what i have to realize.. and understand that this feeling can only be kept in my chest, in my heart...

now i will begin the real relationship with you.. where it's only pure love that i have. not just wanting you.

don't be sad

i just felt relieved that you wouldn't be so sad when you asked me to leave... but this evening, i suddenly felt that you are in a deep sorrow...

are you okay?

i really want to be with you. to accompany you in every single step of your life...

now that i promised not to come again... i feel so worry.. who will be the one who will make effort to understand all of your thoughts and words.

are you so lonely? me too. only with you, i can feel all of the worlds in me.

don't be sad... im here.. my feeling is just the same. from the beginning to the endless end.

i will always love you.. my way... 

Selamat malam

malam ini
sunyi sepi
kau terlena
dalam mimpikau tersenyum

cinta kira

Malam ini
sunyi sepi
tentang cinta

Ku ingin selalu
di sisimu

slamat malam
oh cintaku

posted from Bloggeroid

Thursday, September 5, 2013

Black tears

Even if I cry black tears and scream, tomorrow will come with an unfamiliar face..

posted from Bloggeroid

im a lil bit...

im a lil bit relieved that there is someone will take care of you. even way better than me. 
now i just can pray that you will not sad again. and you can forget me... :')

maybe i should surrender you... since all what i offer now is going to be a trash...  i just dont deserve you... 

for you... it's okay for me to love alone... bcoz of you... i can truly love...

dont worry, you're gonna be okay. without me. even you'll be better... without me. 

thx God

love you and beloved by you.. is all i need in my life. and it's done. thank you God! :')


how can i erase this feeling?
if i never want to erase it
if i want it to be forever
if it's the most true feeling i ever felt
if it's too deep planted in my heart
if it's all of my life?

but how can i keep this feeling when it hurts the one i love the most?

i love you... that's all i can say.. though so many doubts in you now..

now, i just want to see you happy. want to see you live. want to see you free. i dont want you to cry anymore bcoz of me. since i know im unworthy for you.

now if i love you, i can only deliver myself as trash..

i know.. all my words are useless now. all i will do will never make you back to me...

but i only want to say.. that i only love you... life and death.

what can i do?

old one mistake, wipes all things.. now i can only regret. a neverending regret..

what can i do now? 



say sorry?

i dont know..

i can't do anything...

bcoz my life's gone...

what's left is only a body.. without soul.. 

i love you... and it;s only you... can you feel it?


Loving me.. what else you can get? it only brings sadness, dissapointment, and pain

Loving me.. what is the meaning of it? It only means to have no future

Loving me.. is nothing but tears..

But why you still love me..?

I am a devil who speaks thousands lies. Who is unloyal. Who is failed in everything. Who trap u on the darkness..


Why do you still love me?

posted from Bloggeroid

Thx God

God.. thx for the angel whom you let to fall. To light this devil's heart..

Now You r taking it back. Please take it on the right place. The place where it belongs. The warm n peaceful place. Where smile is brought. And spirit is risen.

posted from Bloggeroid

Unworthy son

Di kmr kcl ini
Aku mnangis
Hatiku brteriak

Betapa aku tidak brguna..
Aku mulai memandang hdpku k blkg
Yg kutinggalkan hanyalah kelecewaan dan kesedihan utk stiap org yg mnyayangiku.. bhkn yg plg ku syg..

Aku kini takut.. jika aku mlgkh, hnya hal yg sama yg kutingglkan..
Ini prtma kalinya aku tdk ingin hdp lg.
Aku hnyalah aib keluarga.
Aku hnyalah org yg gagal
Bhkn aku melukai org2 yg mnygiku.

Tuhsn.. maafkn aku.. aku gagal dlm stiap hal. Bhkn mngcewakan tiap org.

Mom, forgive me for being such a kid. I never make u happy. I cant fulfill ur dream.

Dad.. im sorry that im not a man like you.

Sist.. im not a gud bro. I even never speak nixely to you..

C... im not a gud man for u. It doesn't mater wat I do, I end up making u cry..

God.. im your unworthy son.. i've lost..

Anyone.. wat else can you hope from me.. ?

Im sorry.. im sorry.. im sorry..

Forgive me...

posted from Bloggeroid

I can only love you

Baru 2 hr yg lalu gw dgr lgu china ini. Liriknya sgt indh. Dan aku ingin skali kau tau C. Tp aku brpkir bhw lgu ini lbh tpat kusampaikan pdmu saat kita brpisah nanti. Dan aku brpkir bhwa itu msh akn sgt lm.

Tp trnyta, hanya 1hari lbh sdkt, lg ini aku sampaikan pdmu..

Ini smw brsl dr hatiku yg plg dlm.. dr hati seorang iblis yg brhasil mnmukan cahaya yg slma ini ia cari.. cahaya dr malaikat yg trjatuh..

I can only love you by peng qing

When you held firm of my hand
I decided to go with you
Regardless of how many setbacks we would
go through
I would never back away
When all the rivers flow backward
I will still be by your side
Be with you to the end of the time
Even if one day
The sky and the land separate
I will never abandon you
I will be with you
For you, I can
Because loving you, I can only love you
Life wipes clean in the reincarnation
You are the only unforgettable memory
To have truly loved
Is the only way one could have truly lived
Love you, never letting you go from now on
The promise that did not fade
Lasts longer than forever
I have been hurt, have cried, have hated
But I never considered giving up
Don't ask me for a reason
Love is everything to me
This life or the next, you are the unchanging
Even if the world
Becomes your enemy
I still want to hold you tight
Not a drop of tear
For you, I can
Because loving you, I can only love you
As long as it's for you, I'm willing
To sacrifice everything, and I wouldn't regret
To have truly loved
Is the only way one could have truly lived
Love you, nothing to ask for from now on...

posted from Bloggeroid